The Riders Describe A Moment In Time - Writing

This week for writing we have been doing a describe a moment in time (i have done one before). This one was about some people riding in a canoe through a swamp, I titled mine The Riders because they are riding in the canoes. We had to plan the story and then we had to write a hook, once we had finished that we had to write three body paragraphs, when we had finished that as well as our hook we wrote our conclusions. After this long process we self-checked, partner-checked & teacher checked. Then we went on to write a blog post like this one.

Here it is

Ripple, ripple goes the water as the canoe glides through it. Some of the riders are paddling and some have their hands dangling in the water. Light comes through an opening in the canopy of trees allowing the riders to see their reflections in the depths of the water.

The riders paddle their canoes down the deep brown murky river. Some light is visible through the trees and it helps the riders to navigate. Plants are floating on the surface of the water, and trees are going off in all different directions of a small island. One canoe drifts off into the distance and the other canoe speeds up to keep it in view. The trees are blocking most of the light up ahead and soon there is barely any at all, but the canoeist carry on like it's perfectly bright even though it's not.

The water splashes as some of the people put their hands into the water. The water is rippling as the canoes glide down the swamp. Birds are tweeting and singing and frogs are croaking at the riders as they glide through the murky water. The riders are silent even though everything around them is making sounds including the water and creatures around them. Leaves on the trees rustle making it seem like there is something shaking them, although there is nothing but the wind. 

The people dip their hands into the water and they can feel the water splashing onto their arms. As some of the people paddle they can feel the current pushing against them. The riders can feel the smooth wood of the canoe when they touch it. As the canoe slowly drifts past the plants the riders outstretch their hands to touch them. The riders canoes speed through the swamp and when the riders stretch their hands out they can touch trees, plants and even dirt from the island. 

The riders finally hear the soft clunk of the canoe hitting the island. The riders reach their final destination completing their voyage. They feel happy. They feel complete.